Posts from — September 2009

Well, hello there, dear reader. How are you? I am writing you this letter because I want to keep you informed.

What am I doing? Currently, I am reading Scars of Sweet Paradise: The Life and Times of Janis Joplin by Alice Echols. Very interesting. On the “to read” list, I have:

• Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk by Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain

• Delta Blues: The Life and Times of the Mississippi Masters Who Revolutionized American Music by Ted Gioia

• Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain by Charles R. Cross

Heavy stuff.

In the meantime, look forward to Short Story Fridays. Poems will be posted on random days, just to keep you in suspense. Book reviews, artist spotlights and whatever strikes my fancy are future additions, insha’Allah.

So, Eid Mubarak, happy birthday, Happy Rosh Hashanah, and whatever else I may have missed.

Thanks for reading what goes on in my head. Special thanks to my international readers (I see you, Belgium! What’s up, Indonesia? India, Iraq, Malaysia, what’s good? All my UK peoples, heeey!) and my stateside people (Georgia, Maryland, Texas, California, Ohio, Pennsylvania and MICHIGAN!).

Until next time,

~Sumayyah~

Enjoy!

———————-

Captain Alton is a middle aged human male. His bald head and salt and pepper beard accentuate his nut brown skin. A career military man until he lost his left leg in a mortar attack, he came out of retirement to jointly command our unit with three of his old war buddies at the behest of the government. With them, our retrieval unit had a combined one hundred and three years of combat experience. The rest of us were either winging it, or doing what we were made to do.

He was sitting at his desk, frowning at something displayed on the flat screen.

“Sir,” I called. “HART 001 X75234PLE16 reporting for inspection.”

“Ah, HART,” he said, lifting his gaze. “Come over here and have a seat. I need to plug you in and run a diagnostic. I’m concerned about this file you sent me.”

I eased my way around his desk, careful not to dislodge any of the stacks of thick manuals piled haphazardly around his workspace. I arranged myself into a lotus position on the floor next to him, and lowered my head, exposing the USB port set in the nape of my neck. I closed my eyes as he connected me to the computer on his desk, but opened them up again when over the clacking of the keys I heard his sharp intake of breath.

“Is there something wrong?” I knew better than to turn my head while connected, but something in his manner alarmed me. I could hear his heartbeat increase; something was worrying him. “Sir?”

“HART.” He stopped, apparently choosing his words carefully. He was silent for a long moment, and then he started again. “HART. When you fainted -”

“I do not faint, sir.”

“Well, when your systems went offline, Miss Smarty Pants, did you notice anything out of the ordinary?”

Even though my captain was unable to see my face, I raised my eyebrow. “No, sir, I did not. Is there something in the data that indicates there was?” I called up my copy of the file and scanned it. No matter how I looked at it, it was blank. Dead air. Fuzz.

“So you didn’t catch it,” he said, mostly to himself.

“Catch what?” I deliberately left off the honorific to see if he would take note and scold me. He did not.

“Have you tried decrypting it?”

I played the stream again, this time through the security filter, and I saw the cause of Alton’s alarm. Underneath the fuzz was a message, meant for my ears only. I repeated it, unwilling to believe that my defenses had been so thoroughly penetrated.

“Hey, babe,” Cassius’s voice filled my head. “I heard you’re looking for me. Cute pets you’ve picked up. Too bad they’re not enough to protect you from me. I’m the big bad wolf, thought you knew. Let’s rendezvous downtown at about 1330. Catch me if you can.” His mocking laughter bounced around in my skull.

“Shit!” I yanked the cord out of my neck and jumped to my feet. Laying my hand on Captain’s shoulder, I assured him, “I’ll get him.”

“Be careful.”

“Always.” I turned on my heel and bounded out of his office and back to the reception room.

“Shane, McRidge!” I yelled as I skidded to a stop. As I feared, I was already too late. The room was empty; the humans were nowhere in sight. Only their weapons had been left behind. Even Glory was absent from her place at the front desk.

“SHIT!” I screamed. I had officially lost my cool. I ripped my shades off my face and commanded my left orb to awaken. It was time to hunt.

I visually scanned the room, checking for traces of heat sigs. when I got to the reception counter, I detected a motionless figure lying on the floor. It was obvious even to me, that if there was a figure on the floor behind Glory’s desk, it was probably Glory. I vaulted over the low counter to confirm my suspicion.

Indeed, Glory was there with her eyes open and blank. I had no idea if she was broken, or merely in hibernation mode. I crouched beside her, and jostled her shoulder. There was neither motion nor recognition from her. Looking up at her desk, I spotted the telephone. Reaching up to grab it, I realized that my shades were still in my clenched fist. Loosening my fingers, I allowed the glasses to slip to the carpet. This was not the time to be worried about hiding my eyes.

I pushed the button to activate the speaker phone function, and punched the digits that would connect me to Alton’s office. I listened to it ring four, maybe five times before I heard him pick up.

“Yes, Glory?” he asked.

“Glory’s down.”

“WHAT?”

“I think Cassius has been here. The human guards you assigned me are gone, too. Their weapons were left behind, as if discarded,” I briefed him on the situation.

“Ah, damn,” he breathed.

“I am leaving presently to complete my mission.” I moved to disconnect the call when I hear him speak again. “I am sorry? Please repeat that.”

“I said, do not kill him. We need him breathing with his head intact.”

“May I ask why?”

I heard Alton sigh over the sounds of him packing up his laptop and the various tools he would need to repair his secretary. “You win. I’ll tell you. About twenty years ago, there was a boy hacker. He was super smart, past the genius level. He managed to break into the government systems, not once, but twice. His name was Cass Mfume.”

“Cass Mfume?” I automatically searched the database for information; that name struck a chord in me.

“Yes. Cass was an excellent asset to the war efforts. But we changed him. The higher ups felt that he would be more useful if he could control the enemy systems without physically touching a keyboard or smart screen.”

“You mean, he was modified. He is now a half bot?” I questioned.

Another long sigh, then he said, “Yes, he was modified. Cass Mfume is now a walking super computer named Cassius. He can access any piece of computerized equipment by satellite. They demanded it, and I did my job.”

“Excuse my rudeness, sir, but you insane? Why was he not put down at the very end of the war?”

“Because we couldn’t find him, HART. You are the last option, and if you can’t do it, we’re doomed.”

“I understand.” I pressed the button that would end the call and stood. I leapt over the counter once again. Picking up the leftover trails of the humans, I started to follow them out of the room. When I reached the door, I stopped, and glanced over at their weapons. Picking up first one, then the other, I checked them thoroughly. The electro-mag guns had full charges, and were modified to include live ammo. That magazine was full as well. Both weapons had shoulder straps attached; I slung them across my upper body and forced myself to move before I could question or regret my actions. Pushing my way out of the glass double doors, I headed towards the elevators. I needed to return to the parking area and retrieve my TU. It is highly amusing to think of this now, but I fully intended to wage war against that man.

so you want to be praised
for the smallest of things
flaunting those symbols of
your slavery
trapped in the river
it flows against you as you swim
mocking those who you’ve tread on
for not being next to you
all those lies
all that cheating that you’ve done
still you insist
that you’re working for everyone
trying to maintain
this facade
is more than you can bear
relax your mind
release yourself
float on your personal
cloud nine

the light is fading
from the tunnel of your vision
your blinders
have been locked in place
still you insist
that you’re working for everyone
but none can hear you speak
your transmission is garbled
the silence that follows
is deafening
baby you’re a star
in your own theater of pain

so many excuses
so many tears do fall
but your personal paradise
seems to be worth it
after
all

you’re drowning in your misery
but no one feels your hurt
your smile is always
etched in stone
but your hatred lingers
a long time after
the thrill and shine is gone
all those lies
all that cheating that you’ve done
still you’re insisting
that you work for everyone

lose yourself
in the cover
of the blackest night there is
drift downriver
leave behind
the pieces of your dreams

Ready to continue this bumpy ride? I hope you fastened your seatbelts this time.

——————————————————-

When I maneuvered the TU into the space designated for me, I noticed something was brewing. Two human agents wearing full body armor were waiting for me. They were both armed with electro-mag guns which were about the size of small assault rifles. If I had eyebrows, I probably would have raised them. Those weapons were extremely dangerous to bots like me. The shock waves those things sent out could permanently scramble a girl’s code. If humans were here with those guns aimed at me, then something was terribly wrong.

I eased out of the TU, and code locked it. I leaned against the driver’s door, and folded my arms. All of my systems were running at full capacity, analyzing the situation and checking the news wire reports. There was nothing in my bank to suggest that I was the cause for the humans to bear arms, so I took my chances and spoke first.

“Why, a welcoming party! How special. Is it my birthday?” I asked sarcastically.

The human closest to me, a medium height, medium build, all-around plain and bland male, flinched, and took a step backwards. His partner, a tall, pale female, glared at him, and then turned that angry gaze on me. “We’re not doing this by choice, you know. Captain Alton is afraid that his precious HART will be dismantled before Cassius can be captured. We’re here to protect you,” she said through clenched teeth.

I was unable to prevent what happened next. My programming was such that whenever I saw or heard something comical, I was to respond in human fashion. So, I laughed. Hard. Had I tears, they would have been streaming down my face. Had I the ability to draw breath, I would have been gasping for air.

The male shifted his weight and, pursing his lips, turned away with his gaze downcast. The female, however, had all the signs of being antagonized. She hefted her weapon, and closed the distance between us. She placed her face directly in front of mine, and blew out a hot breath.

“It’s. Not. That. Funny.” Huffing and puffing and turning red, she gritted her teeth. Besides being angry, she also appeared to be holding back tears I cocked my head, mildly interested in this range of emotion.

“Forgive me,” I said, “for making light of your seriousness. However, your ‘protection’ of me is not needed. I do appreciate the gesture, and sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

“You don’t have a heart.”

Oh, yeah. I had been spending so much time with humans and approximating their lifestyle that I often forgot that little tidbit. I reminded myself that I was not one of them and prepared to walk away.

“Of course. You are correct. Please excuse me.” I turned to walked away, and was stopped by the male. “Yes?” I questioned him, impatiently.

“Um. Well. Could you tell our division leader that we completed our task properly? I’m Shane, and she’s McRidge. We didn’t mean to disturb you. We were just trying to do our jobs.” As he spoke, my sincerity meter registered a perfect score. His heart rate was normal, if slightly elevated, and his color was good. He definitely was not a liar. At least not concerning this.

“Fine. You may accompany me. But only to the entrance.”

“Yes sir!” Shane happily saluted me, and adjusted the grip on his weapon. His index finger rested lightly on the trigger as he rapidly checked the area for suspicious movement. His partner, McRidge, reluctantly followed behind him, halfheartedly covering the same ground.

“All clear!” Shane bellowed, and motioned for me to close the distance between us.

“Yeah, clear, right,” McRidge repeated in a voice dripping with boredom. My emotion meter chimed wildly. Could this be sarcasm, or perhaps boredom? I stored a copy of her tone in my data center for future reference, pushed my shades higher on my nose, and sauntered across the lot.

Shane’s eyes followed me appreciatively, I noticed. The female’s eyes noticed this too, if the sound of her sucking her teeth was any indication. I filed this emotion away, also. Surely, this was jealously, although I had heard that sometimes that teeth-sucking sound was used to convey disgust. With smirk, I continued my lazy walk towards the Justice Complex, or Jus Com, where the office I operated out of was located on the twelfth floor.

At least, I intended to continue my walk. I lifted one foot off the ground, and in the next moment, Shane was at my side, gawking at my prone form.

“Are you okay?”

“Hmm?” I ran a check on my systems, attempting to access the previous moments. There was nothing other than static available for reading. “That’s strange,” I said to myself. I tried it again, only to receive the same result. McRidge crouched next to me, scanning the surrounding area. Her gun carefully followed her line of sight. I could tell she was looking for an enemy, but there was none. I felt nothing.

I copied the blank spot in my programming and dropped it into a folder. Dismissing it as a glitch, I mailed the file to Alton anyway as a precaution. Perhaps he would see something that I did not. Pushing myself upwards, I returned to a standing position. I adjusted my shades and strolled past the curious onlookers as if nothing had transpired.

Once inside of Jus Com, I made a beeline straight for the elevators. I was anxious to begin my newest mission. I refused to allow anything to prevent me from taking the head of my prey. Recalling the information mail that I viewed just that morning, I activated several search programs at once. This would enable me to simultaneously review the past deeds and footsteps of my target, Cassius, as well as monitor current traffic in the area.

“Welcome, HART. Please confirm your access code.” I tilted my head at the instruction. I froze, making a quick note of exactly where I was. I had been so deep into my research that I had gotten on the elevator, rode to my office, and entered the reception area without noticing a thing. That was so very unlike me that it scared me as much as anything could. I would definitely ask Alton to run a manual check on my systems. Blanking out twice in such a short period of time was not what I was configured to do.

“Sorry, Glory,” I apologized to the humanoid female at the desk. “X75234PLE16.”

“Access granted,” she chirped. “Captain is waiting for you. Go right in,” she instructed.”

“Thank you.”

“Ah, but,” she interrupted, “your escorts must remain out here. They do not have the proper authorization.”

“Escorts?” I swiveled my head and saw Shane and McRidge fidgeting behind me. “Oh, them.” Something else I had forgotten. I really needed to get my head checked.

“We’ll be fine. We’ll wait right here,” Shane offered. He sat in the first chair he saw, right next to the door. Pointedly, he stared at McRidge until she huffed and puffed her way into the chair on the other side of the door frame. He waved his gloved hand at me and beamed.

“Yeah.” I left the collection of weirdos in the room behind me and went to see my boss in his private quarters.

It’s not often that my own work makes me cry. I was reading a couple of bios about people that get into drugs and bad relationships; this poem was born from that. There are people in this world without hope. Let’s all remember our own blessed lives because they could be worse.

——————–

in this world

in this world
that i have forsaken
my heart
insists to focus
on sinful things
i have succumbed
to the love
of a creation
i should oppose
but just like lightening
it struck from nowhere
made me weak in my knees
and now i’m blind
and i can’t see
anything
but what’s close to me
and who
my time has gone to
and where i
misplaced my soul
i’m shaken to my core
spend my days wandering
away from home
lost in the city
wishing for the trees
to offer me cover
hide me from view
though
i know
some will not see me
because i’ve strayed
i am
no longer chaste
i can
no longer be saved
what is to
become of me?
do you still hear
me pray?
in this world
i’ve found a place
of no rest
in this world
i gave it my best
in this world
i’m on my own
in this world
my desires
have brought me my downfall
i know
it’s too late
to fall back on faith
when my actions
have proved
that i deserve disgrace
why
i ask
has the sky not yet
fallen
why
i demand
has the ground not yet swallowed
me and all my dreams
truly truly truly
i’m left with no fear
in the distance i see
a faint guiding light
could it be
could it be meant for me?
in this world
i built up these walls
in this world
i watched them crumble and fall
my everything is gone
nothing is left
for me
in this world

when that freedom calls
from across the river wild
horses could not impede my path
never stop the beating of my heart
never keep me down
don’t hide the sun from my eyes
let me see the world
i will inherit this moment
ancient blood
flowing through my veins
from the first woman and man
i claim my place in history
don’t you dare look down on me
because my skin’s tone
is deeper than the sea
the midnight blooms on my lips
and the taste of sweet berries
makes me reminisce
home-baked pies and wide open fields
i remember these things

now i lay me down to sleep
i pray the Lord my soul to keep
let the grave be spacious and comfort me
til the day i rise
to receive the book of my life
there is no paradise on these shores
to be found

when that freedom calls
clasp my hand and follow me
through the stream
to the hills
through the mountains
to the sea

the Earth protects her own

Ever have one of those days? The moment you wake up, probably annoyingly early, everything just sort of goes horribly wrong? Yeah, I know. In honor of those who are close to blowing their top or plain ole abandoning ship, I present you, “living on the edge.”

———————————

sleep interrupted
by the crying child
needs hugs and kisses
monster slaying skills
and the obligatory
drink of water
but once the sun rises
the day immediately
goes to waste
too many people plans opinions
in this cursed rat race
and just like that
it all comes clear
there’s no escape
from the personal
Hell of monotony
it’s the same ole shit
just a different day
grin and bear it, honey
and that’s all they say

living on the edge
of fractured sanity
does little to please me
the walls are closing in
and becoming my tomb
i want to spread my wings
but the ceiling’s too low
i can’t turn down the pressure
and my top’s gonna blow

it’s 3 pm
and i’m running late
me and the school bus stop
have a standing date
but the rain is coming down
and my path’s filled with mud

5 o’clock
stuck in traffic
dinner on the backseat
cell phone ringing
baby’s crying
“honey i’ll be home late”
highway calling
freedom beckons
would they miss if i’m gone?
thoughts keep coming
head keeps filling
somebody makes a wrong turn

living on the edge
of fractured sanity
does little to please me
the walls are closing in
and becoming my tomb
i want to spread my wings
but the ceiling’s too low
i can’t turn down the pressure
and my top’s gonna blow

So my hard drive flat-lined sometime between Thursday night and Friday morning. Thanks to my wonderful husband, who played the role of Dr. Frankenstein, I have a new drive and my computer is working again. Unfortunately, I did lose some data, but I think I can replace it. Anyway, expect the posts to continue now that I’m back online.

Peace!

Nevermind the title. I had to call it something, you know? Anyhow, I present to you another short story in parts, appearing every Friday until further notice. Enjoy!

———————————

It is a hell of a thing to wake up dead. I know this better than most because last night, I died for the third time in my life.

Death is typically defined as occurring in the moment that the heart ceases to beat or pump blood to the brain. Therefore, no matter what the cause of the heart stopping was, everyone dies from what is termed a “heart attack.” But none of that has anything to do with me.

I do not have a heart.

Instead, I have a small but powerful nuclear reactor in my chest. Damage to it forces my body into a state of hibernation, for anywhere from four to twenty-four hours, in order to repair the injury. So when Cassius shot me, my systems went into auto-preserve status, and I died, for lack of a better term. Good thing, too, because if the reactor in my chest sustained massive, irreparable damage, I could have leveled half the city.

Oh, where are my manners? It seems like my behavioral chip may have been damaged in that fire fight, too. Please excuse me. I am HART. That is, I am a Humanoid Autonomous Retrieval Technician. In other words, my function in this world is a type of police officer. My job is to hunt down criminals and escapees of both the half-bot and and full-bot type.

Yes, we are real. No, we are not a government conspiracy. True, we were originally created to act as soldiers in the last war. When the Peace Papers were signed, a good number of my kind were designated for the scrap pile. Unfortunately, several escaped and disappeared deep into the human underworld. The strongest and most intelligent of us were given the task of bringing them back.

When they made us, they forgot they gave us the ability to think and adapt. Lucky for us. Dangerous for them, though, since some of us look human enough to pass undetected. I, however, do not.

My jet black skin-covering has a metallic shine to it, and gleams under artificial lighting. The frame they housed me in is small and compact to ensure better flexibility and stealth. Please do not be fooled; I am nothing close to delicate. I can easily lift and toss armored trucks twice my size. My biggest non-human trait? My eyes, definitely.

I use the term eyes loosely. My optic lenses are a bit unusual, if I say so myself. The right one is a glowing green orb in which I can simultaneously retrieve known information about my surroundings and upload new findings. I can also monitor the health of my systems, and receive orders and reports, like a walking fax port. My left orb is a bit, ah, different, shall we say? It has been known to scare people. Its basic state is flat and black; when I get close to my prey, it glows bright red. The infrared signal kicks in, and chases both heat and electromagnetic signature.

I usually wear wraparound shades in the presence of humans.

But enough about me. What happened last night? Well, see, that is kind of a long story.

When I awoke from my customary four hour recharge, there was a message waiting for me from Alton, the captain of my unit. I sub-vocalized my password; when it was accepted, I decrypted the video and watched.

“HART. You have an assignment. Your target is Cassius, a modified half-bot. Last seen passing for human. Appears to be a human male of Neo-Afrikan descent. Height is six feet, four inches. Weight is two hundred and seven pounds. Rumored weapons smuggler. Slated for termination. Report in after viewing.” The message screen blinked out.

“Cassius, huh?” I said softly. Already, my day was looking up.

Disengaging myself from my sleeping compartment, I glided over to the large closest in my living unit. I own rows and rows of clothing. I am not sure why humans insist on covering up perfectly good skin-coverings, but I have to live by their rules in their world. Flicking through the countless hangers, I settled on a one piece, white jumpsuit. There were zippers everywhere that were designed to strategically expose skin to be “sexy”, but it was perfect for me, as I could conceal my knives and one very large piece of chrome-plated hardware. I was beginning to see why “sexy” and “dangerous” were often treated as being synonymous with each other.

I completed the outfit with a pair of white synth-leather boots, and my ever present shades. I gave my short, curly hair a halfhearted fluff, and stepped out of my living unit and into the waiting transport unit my employers allowed me for company use. I had a feeling that traffic would be a bitch, as usual, and I was eager to begin my hunt.

“Cassius.” I said his name and allowed myself a smile as the transport unit whisked me towards headquarters. “This is going to be fun.” At least, that was what I thought then.

Events did not turn out quite as I planned.

Well, this was… interesting. Hey, it’s early and I woke up with it in my head. Comments are welcome!

————

stop the world
and let me off
it’s turning much too fast
sun rise sun set
moon up
nightfall
the days are running from me
i can’t breathe
at this speed
can we at least
slow it down?
my concentration
has fractured in places
and i’m filled to the brim
with despair
where’s the fun i used to have
lazing around in the noon sun?
where’s the boredom i
used to claim
late at night
watching the minutes tick away?

stop the world
and let me off
my head seems
ready to explode
too much information
is crammed in
and i’ve got no way
to release
if knowledge is power
than i’ll gladly pass
and return to being meek
living life so gently
sweetly cautious
and leisurely

if you can’t stop the world
then just maybe
you can stop me